Mommy FTW

I am a full time stay at home mom with a 9 month old girl, and a 3 year old boy.  My son was always an epic napper.  I was spoiled, and nap time was my favorite time of day – I could get things done around the house, and even have the chance to relax for a few minutes of my ‘work day.’  I was worried about juggling it all when my daughter was born, but I knew I would have my son’s nap time as the glue that would hold my day together.

When my son started to drop his nap time (first he would skip one day a week.. then it was three…) it really started to stress me out.  We would have fights about it every day.  I would give him toys I got at yard sales when he napped, and take toys or privileges away when he didn’t.  We were all pretty miserable!  I decided to bring up the topic at my son’s 3 year check up with his pediatrician.

During our discussion of Cameron’s sleep I mentioned that sometimes Cam wakes up with what I called ‘night terrors’ – he is sort of awake, but a bit delirious, and usually inconsolable and screaming.  The pediatrician asked me when Cam went to bed, to which I answered, on days he naps around 10pm, and on days he doesn’t around 7:30.  She noted that those 10 days must be “long days” – you got that right!  And then she made what was to me, an earth shattering suggestion: drop nap time.  She said that night terrors are often linked to over tired children, and with Cam going to bed so late, he wasn’t getting the solid chunk of night sleep he needed.  She said, still give him “rest time” (quiet time in his room for an hour or so) – if he falls asleep, fine, but take the pressure off and don’t stress over it.

Here’s how I made it happen – For Cameron, rest time is from 2 – 3:15.  2 is also when his sister goes down for his nap – so for my sanity I like to have them be in their rooms at the same time.  The reason I picked 3:15 as the end time is because it is very easy for Cameron to see on his clock – both hands point to the same spot.  We have a great clock from IKEA that is perfect for this.  Cameron’s door knob used to have a ’safety cover’ which we got from Amazon that keeps him from being able to let himself out – we don’t need this any more as he is with the program and knows that he has to stay in his room for the designated time period – but you might want to try something like that initially.  Finally, we have a video monitor in Cam’s room (honestly we bought it for Violet but we get a lot more use out of it with Cameron!)  I use it to make sure he isn’t getting into too much trouble up there.  It has a PA system so I can talk to him if I need to.

Cameron is allowed to play with toys (nothing electronic) and read books.  For now, the system is working great – Cam generally doesn’t give too much of a fight about staying up there the whole time.  In the evening, my husband has an alarm on his iPhone that signals that it’s time to get in the bath and then go to bed.  Cameron is usually quite happy to start his relaxing routine!  I think if you are getting to the point of stressing over and fighting with your child about nap time, it might be time to try switching to a ‘rest time’ or quiet time in the room.  It revolutionized the evening routine at my house and I couldn’t be happier!

I have put off doing a post on Sleep Training in part because I think it is a sensitive and personal topic, but I saw a thread on PATH recently about sleep training / “crying it out” and it inspired me to post about the book and method I used to help Cameron become an excellent sleeper.

Before I had Cameron, a friend of mine used a the methods in the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to train her son to be an great sleeper.  He went down easily at bed time, slept through the night by 9 months, and two lengthy (1 hour + naps) every day.  Her success inspired me to use the same book with Cameron.  And while the sleep training was not easy, I would certainly say it was successful – and worth the effort.  Cameron also goes down easily at night, sleeps through from about 6pm to 7am, and takes two naps in the day (although I think we might be transitioning to one soon).

Here’s a few things I learned from Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child:

1)When children are over tired it is harder for them to sleep.  Have you ever forced yourself to stay up to study for a test, or because you were driving somewhere, only to find that when you finally allowed yourself to try and sleep, you couldn’t?  The same thing happens to babies.

2)Babies need to learn to sooth themselves to sleep on their own.  This is a skill that will help them be good sleepers through their lives.

3)Letting your baby “cry it out” does not make you a bad parent.  If your child wanted to ride their bike without a helmet, eat ice cream all day, and stick their fingers in the electrical socket, you wouldn’t let them.  And if they cried about it, you still wouldn’t let them.  Helping your child learn to fall asleep on their own and develop healthy sleep habits is good for them, and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.

4)Your baby will exhibit signs of being tired.  Signs include: Decreased activity, slower motions, being less vocal, appearing disinterested in the surroundings, eyes become less focused, yawning, and eye rubbing.  Watch your baby for these signs and help them sleep when they exhibit them.

5)Develop a soothing routine before naps and bed time, and be consistent with it.  This helps your baby know that it’s time to relax.  I don’t use the same routine for naps as I do with bed time, but I do use the same routine for every nap, every day, and for every bed time.

Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child

The book is separated into two major sections.  The first 200 or so pages are mainly focused on Sleep Theory.  While they are insightful, when I talk to moms about the book I recommend they skip ahead to the second major section which is divided into chapters by age group and focuses on the specific sleep challenges that you and your baby will be facing at that specific time.

Finally, I wanted to end by emphasizing that this book is not all about letting your baby “cry it out.”  It’s about healthy sleep, and how to achieve it.  Crying it out is one method that you may or may not have to use to get there.  Even if you don’t feel comfortable with having your baby cry it out, I think reading this book will give you some useful tips, and help your family get more sleep.  Good Luck!!!

Check out the other post I did on the Books I Found Most Helpful

A friend of mine who is about to have her first baby just asked me what books I found most helpful when planning for Cameron to arrive.  These three were recommended to me by a friend who had already had a baby (my baby guru), and I found them all to be very useful.

Baby Bargains

Baby Bargains: I’m one of those people who reads reviews obsessively to find the perfect product.  This book had great no nonsense reviews for all kinds baby related paraphernalia.  This info, combined with the reviews people post on Amazon, made me feel like I was making educated decisions.

Baby 411

Baby 411: Why is my baby’s poop black?  What developmental milestones are coming up? What is Mastitis?  How much should my baby be eating?  Do I really need to boil everything to sterilize it?  The answers to these and many more questions you never thought of but soon will are in this book.  For a first time parent, this book is extremely useful.  It’s not something you read cover to cover, but use more as a reference text, looking up questions as you come up with them.  A serious must-have!

Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child: My friend who was my baby guru (she has a 2.5 year old) recommended this sleep book, and used this method with her son.  It’s a bit dense to read (you might feel like you are back in college!) but I think it’s really informative when it comes to sleep and babies.   We’ve been using Dr. Weissbleuth’s methods with Cameron and people always comment that he is one of the happiest babies they know.  When he is awake, is is very observant as well as calm.  It is certainly an effort to do sleep training with your baby, but in the end both you and your baby will get more rest, and be happier for it!

Hallelujah!  For the first time ever (with hopefully many more times to come,) my 7.5 month old baby boy has slept through the night – from 6pm to 6:20am.  Let me tell you, this mommy is ecstatic!  Of course, we have been working on this for a long time, but I think a large part of this victory is due to two things.  1) My sleep training book “Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy Child” by Dr. Weissbluth and 2) Huggies Overnight Diapers.  I think on this post I’ll focus on #2, since #1 is a huge topic in itself.

In the past few weeks Cameron has become a tummy sleeper.  Overall, he seems to sleep better on his tummy than his back – and for longer stretches of time.

Cameron the tummy sleeper

Except, we now had a leaking problem.  He had been waking up wet almost every night, and every morning.  This was totally new to me – I’ve always been a huge fan of Pampers, and never experienced many leaky diapers.  Obviously doing all this extra laundry was not cool, so I investigated “Overnight Diapers.”

Huggies Overnites diapers

The reviews on Diapers.com for Huggies Overnights were glowing, so I decided to give them a try.  Indeed, they worked.  I highly suggest them if you have an overnight leak problem.  Mommy FTW!