Before Cameron was born my husband and I took an extensive birthing class at Real Birth. We learned all about the hormones that bond baby and mother, and about how important it is to breast feed. In fact, now a days everyone says “breast is best” and there is a lot of pressure for new moms to nurse, and not use formula or bottles at all. I was sold, and when Cameron arrived, I knew I was ready to bond with my baby, and go breast milk all the way.
At the hospital I was dead tired, and after much fretting, I allowed Cameron to be taken to the nursery, where he was given bottles with formula. I was sure that was the end, and he would never take the breast after that! Of course, this wasn’t the case. Once I got over my fear of “nipple confusion” I decided I wanted Cameron to get a bottle once a day from his dad (preferably at bed time) because this is one thing my sleep book had suggested – of course, my plan had been to pump this with my Medela “hospital grade” pump that a friend had lent me. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out the way I had thought they would.
At first, I was in a LOT of pain – like scream out in pain when Cameron latched on – pain. I had a lactation consultant come to my home, and she certainly helped getting a good latch, but I still was having trouble producing enough milk. I wanted to pump to alleviate my pain, but hardly anything came out – maybe an ounce or two, if I was really lucky.
One day I went over to my neighbor’s house – she also had a son who was 3 days younger than Cameron. She showed me her freezer full of pumped milk and I felt so jealous. Those bags I had bought for milk storage were mocking me – and I was getting frustrated. My neigbor had a baby nurse who suggested I try drinking Guinness, as well as taking some pricey herbs which I found at Whole Foods. Both of them helped some (maybe I got 2, or 3 ounces after a day of pumping – several times)… but I still wasn’t getting any real volume – and certainly not enough to store away. So finally, I started giving Cameron some formula along with his breast milk. It began as a “cocktail bottle” – whatever I could pump, plus a little formula, and then it grew from there.
I got a lot of flak from other moms and people in general. Someone told me it was “such a shame” that Cameron was getting formula. I was angry, and frustrated, but eventually I got over it. In my mind, Cameron and I were getting the best of both worlds. All the benefit of breast milk, plus the ease of formula. Cameron weened himself around 9 months, and has been on just formula and solids ever since. I wish he had kept nursing a little, both because of my owns selfishness (I miss it a little) as well as I think it would have helped him fend off some colds this winter. But you can’t fight progress! My pediatrician said this is common, and it’s a sign of independence.
Anyways – to sum up – moms out there, don’t feel terrible if you are supplementing with formula. I’m sure you have your reasons, and I’m sure you are a great mom!
